What Football Games and Art Galleries Taught Me About Marriage

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"Compromise is not about losing. It is about deciding that the other person has just as much right to be happy with the end result as you do." 

- Donna Martini

Yesterday I asked my husband how many art galleries he visited before he met me.

"Two. One in Spain and one on a 5th grade field trip."

Then I asked him how many he has been to since he met me.

"Seems like a million."

And honestly, though dramatic, that is probably true.

I LOVE ART GALLERIES.

My favorite past time living in Salt Lake City is to go up to Park City and stroll those beautiful art galleries on Main Street with a caramel apple. That is honestly all I ever want to do when we have a free weekend.

I love them.

Now, on the flip side, do you know how many college football games I went to before I met Mitch?

Maybe 3.

Maybe.

Do you how many I have been to since I met him?

A million.

HE LOVES THEM.

I asked him why he likes them so much and do you know what he said?

"It's super exciting because I played football. It's never the same game twice, and you don't know how it's going to end."

... That's it...

If we don't have any plans the night of a game, he will always opt to watch it, whether we are physically standing at one or just watching it on TV.

And you know what? I don't understand it.

But he doesn't understand why I love art galleries.

And that's why we love each other.

Compromise was a non-existent word for me before marriage.

I never had to truly compromise much growing up.

High school was all about me.

College was all about me.

My mission taught me SO much about compromise. Everything from my companions to the investigators and members helped begin to teach me quite a bit about it.

But, as most RM’s will agree with me, it’s nothing like applying that in the “real world.”

Even while dating, I never TRULY got the concept that you give some and you take some.

Buuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuut, 

In order for both of you to take some (as you both should), the other does have to let go a little bit.

I've got it now. (Although preaching is easier than practicing, and we are far from perfect at it.)

We fill our weeks with activities we both love. It's almost comical if you look at one of our schedules because our evenings are littered with, what appears to be, the most random and out of the blue activities. 

Anything from fishing to photoshoots to hiking to music festivals is our jam.

But we both show up and are happy to be there. Because the other is happy to be there, and we are happy to be with them.

It's the best. He comes with me and he's happy and loves it because I love it. I go with him and I’m happy because he loves it.

***We don't keep track. It's not "Oh, I did x on y day for z amount of time so you owe me now."***

It's more of "Well, he loves doing what I love. And I love him, so I'll love what he loves."

And you know what? We are days away from our one year mark of trying this crazy 'marriage' thing, and this philosophy of ours has worked wonders for us.

It has made the days feel like dreams and the weeks feel like bliss.

It may not work for other couples, but it definitely has worked for us.

Compromise. Such a funny and small word. But with it, you choose each other. 

And we both choose happiness. 

Xx,

E

P.S. - I would love to hear your experiences/ opinions of this! Feel free to comment or email or DM me (if it's more private)!